work and play
Thus far in 2021, I’ve published one book and finished another. (That second one is technically going to the editor within the week, but it’s very polished and I’m happy with it as is.)
Needing to work on another book, and having no shortage of projects to choose from, I reminded myself that my word for the year is “finish.” So, I sat back and looked at the other partial projects I have from last year and chose one.
(Note: I couldn’t take a break after finishing the second book. The pain of not writing is so much greater than the pain of writing.)
(Also note: have you noticed the tone of my posts changing? In 2020, they were more jealous and wistful, wanting what I didn’t have. Now that I’m seeing results—meaning publishing a new book—I feel more self-directed. Successful. Even though I have been the entire time, if that makes sense.)
Anyway, now I’m plugging away on an old project. This one has a lot of emotional baggage and expectations associated with it, mostly self-directed. I thought I should have finished it years ago. I’ve spent a lot of time on it and rewritten it and rewritten it and started over multiple times from scratch. It’s become a challenge. A Thing. It’s been hanging out so long and I’ve had so much pressure about it, that I either need to scrap it or finish it. So, I’m choosing finishing. Because that’s the word of the year.
But “finishing” isn’t the only goal, of course. I do want it to be good, not just complete. And I want to enjoy the process of creation. Secretly, I want to finish it now so I can almost sneak it in between publishing, just in case it falls short. Because I just published one book, and I know people have the one in August to look forward to. (Which, if I’m honest, is the best book I’ve ever written. I don’t mean that in a bragging way. I mean it in a culmination of lots of learning and applying it to a story that I HAD to write. And a few beta readers have said it, too. So it’s a relief to know that something really good is coming. If not everything is a home run, well, that’s the creative life, I think.)
Still, this one isn’t as easy as the one I just finished, where I grinned the whole time I was writing it, even in the sad/emotional parts. Now it feels a bit more like a chore, even though I love the characters and the world they are in.
The way I’m dealing with finishing is I have a set amount of words to reach every day and an internal publishing deadline that I’ve announced only to my husband. I hope, I hope I get it done by then because that would be AWESOME.
(Well, it’s more than hope. I am doing the work.)
But I still have no shortage of ideas. Recently, I also had this super fun idea for something completely different. I’m TOTALLY enamored by this other idea. And focusing on one book that has brought me years of heartache isn’t exactly a recipe for happiness.
So, this is my solution: work AND play. Get my word count in for the book I want to finish, and then later in the day (or night), play with the other with ZERO expectations. Write the most ridiculous scenes I can. Let myself go wild. Don’t even think of it as a finished product or something I need to market. Right now, I’m writing it just for me and because it’s fun to create.
This process seems to be working.
Like, I finish my vegetables [word count] and then I get dessert [book with no expectations]. I’m bribing myself.
I’m loosening up. It’s a nice combination of discipline and creativity. Of accountability and freedom.
If you have something to do and something you want to do, think about ways that you can reward yourself for doing the thing you must do with something you really want to do. Speaking from experience, it’s a great motivator.
