breaks and streaks

Me (to me, after noodling about with some blog ideas but not settling on anything worth publishing): You should take a break. It’s the end of the year. You’ve posted just about every time you wanted to. You’ve clearly established twice-weekly blogging as a habit for the last two years and skipping one or two times might make you come back refreshed and with new ideas. Skip posting today.

Me: But do you (I?) really need to announce a hiatus. Because by doing so, aren’t you keeping the goal of posting something every Wednesday and Saturday? So didn’t you just do the productive thing you were saying you needed a break from?

Me: Sigh.

This is a perfect example of my issue with streaks. I like them. I like looking at days and days of marking off taking some action toward being the person I want to be. (I want to be a writer; writers write; if I write and publish, I am being who I want to be.)

But perfectionism has its drawbacks, too. And it’s good to remind yourself (myself?) that you’re (I’m) human, notwithstanding your (my) 981-day streak on Duolingo. It wouldn’t be a catastrophe if you took a day off. Broke a streak. It doesn’t mean that you won’t get back to it. It can be a pause, not quitting something forever.

Me: You’re just anxious because you’re recovered enough from perfectionism to recognize when it gets in the way—but also far enough along on your good habits that it’s almost easier to DO the good habit than to not to. Which is the ultimate goal with establishing a new habit, no?

I don’t honestly know the answer to this—when my need to achieve collides with my need to take a break. I often feel like if I take my foot off the gas pedal, I’ll just stop rather than slowing down for a moment. Even though that’s a fallacy.

So, I figured I’d just post what is going through my head. My blog, my thoughts, my rules. And this serves as both a break … and a blog post.

P.S. why does streak not rhyme with break? English!