But the key thing that I did—and that I can’t do for you—is I decided, once and for all, that I was going to get better.
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Secretly, I want to finish it now so I can almost sneak it in between publishing, just in case it falls short.
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Last week, though? Last week I ended up with my most hours billed and words written all year (granted, we’re in week seven, but still). More, I ended up totally in the flow.
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I think the trick is finding the ones who your (my) work IS for and doubling down on that.
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I hope this post inspires you to remember to take the time to do whatever it is that you truly want to do.
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I realize this is very woo-woo. I don’t care. It makes me much happier to know that the energy I send out matters. That what I want will come to me. That all I have to do is ask for it.
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I nearly always make my children read the book first before watching a movie so they can experience the contours of the world in their own imagination before it’s engrained in their consciousness…
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When I namecheck a song in a book, there’s usually more than one reason for it. Here are the reasons for the three songs in Boy on a Train.
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see, it can happen. You can do anything you want.
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I set aside my prejudices against doing things old-school style and set up shop.
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But the problem is, I’m one of those weirdos who thinks that what you put your attention on grows.
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… it’s anatomically impossible and yet completely descriptive.
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the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing…
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I’m realizing how much of my life is driven by my need for a good story.
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It’s the end of the year. Time to review and reflect. Time to think about improving in the future.
Time to get anxious about the sheer number of things I want to change.
This is my solution
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There really is magic in just starting to do something small, because it really does compound and snowball into good things.
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Just because I gave myself the Will Smith pep talk didn’t mean all my fears evaporated. They were dispelled, but then they came back. Kind of like how a huge wave hits the shore, then retreats, but another one comes, just with less power. I shooed it back, and the fear returned. I shooed it back again.
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It’s a big deal that I finished a book. It’s edited, proofread, submitted, and on its way. I feel like I’m doing what Seth Godin preaches—shipping my creative work. I spent most of 2021 writing, and this is the first evidence that I have to share of it. I’m so proud of this little beauty and can’t wait to share Tate and Audrey’s story with you.
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I’ve dealt with this tension before, and every writer knows it. Hemingway summed it up as “write drunk, edit sober.”
But I’ve finally come to appreciate that I can’t do both at once. Even if I’m tempted to. And all I need to do is designate which mode I’m in. They’re both valid.
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The relief I felt went deeper than a roleplaying game, because it felt like it was okay to be her—and by extension, that it was okay to be me.
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